Thursday, September 22, 2011
Low-down dirty shames
I am married and my husband has a stepdaughter by his first wife and a bilogical daughter by his first wife also. I am really having a problem with his stepdaughter calling him early in the mornings and late at night leaving him messages about how she really misses him and really love him. She also asks him not to leave her and tells him when she is on her monthly. I confronted him and asked what is going on and he says that she always call him and it is okay for her to say the things that she says. She is a 44 year old woman and claims he is the only one that consoles her when she is depressed. What do you think about this situation? I told him to get to stepping. Am I wrong?
Celebrity fashion labels: The good, the bad and the ugly
He might be responsible for reviving one of the worst moments in the history of sunglasses -- the "shutter shades" -- but rapper Kanye West is hoping that all will be forgiven as he debuts his own line at Paris Fashion Week later this month.
According to Vogue magazine, the "Runaway" hit-maker has hired London-based designer Katie Eary -- known for her vivid, eye-catching designs -- as one of the creative leads developing this new signature range of womenswear.
But as we wait to discover what West has up his sleeve, it remains to be seen if the superstar's foray into fashion will prove a wise career move. And anyway, does the world really need another celebrity clothing line?
From the multi-million dollar empires of pop-singers-cum-fashion-moguls P. Diddy and Jessica Simpson to the quietly shelved apparel of Lindsay Lohan and "Sex in the City" star Sarah Jessica Parker, the celebrity fashion game is rarely a predictable business.
According branding expert Tim Jeffrey, celebrity clothing brands are particularly mercurial because their success is so closely aligned to just one individual -- whose popularity can slump at the drop of a finely tailored hat.
"Before they start, they really have to ask themselves why they want to do it in the first place," says Jeffrey, who works for international brand consultancy firm "i-am."
"The principle of celebrity ranges is sound, as long as the star in question can add value" he says. "For instance, look at Fred Perry. Here's a tennis star who could draw on his knowledge and expertise to create a credible sportswear brand that has endured even beyond his own life and career."
It's a view shared by Bruce Ross, president and CEO of specialist marketing consultancy Celebrity Fashion Group.
They really have to ask themselves why they want to do it in the first place
Tim Jeffrey, branding consultant
"Success or failure in this industry boils down to one word: Authenticity," he says. "Consumers aren't stupid and they can generally tell when a celebrity is just doing it for the money while having no interest in the product."
Ross cites singers Gwen Stefani and Beyonce Knowles as stars with sturdy fashion credentials.
Stefani is an established style icon, he says, who was known for concocting her own designs long before creating her label L.A.M.B. Meanwhile, Beyonce's line, "House of Dereon" pays tribute to her maternal grandmother Agnes Dereon -- a respected seamstress born in the 1920s.
But, according to Ross, many other stars are guilty of sheer opportunism. "Take the Kardashian sisters," he says, in reference to the American socialites who recently launched their own range, "Kardashian Kollection" at the Sears chain of department stores.
"I mean, give me a break," says Ross, "Sears is where people go to get a good deal on a washing machine or bag of tools. The partnership just doesn't make sense, it's not authentic."
It's not hard to see why every celebrity and their mother (Dina Lohan -- mom of Lindsay -- attempted to launch a budget shoe line in 2009) are hoping to cash-in on their own brand of garments. All you have to do is follow the money.
According to Women's Wear Daily magazine, Jessica Simpson's eponymous shoe and accessories brand is on it's way to becoming the first celebrity label to rake in over $1 billion of sales, while Beyonce's husband and Kanye West label-mate, Jay-Z sold the rights to his urban-flavored clothing range Rocawear for $204 million in 2007.
Then there's Elle Macpherson's lingerie business, Initmates, the eclectic lifestyle collection Elizabeth and James from former child-prodigy twins Mary and Ashley Olsen and who could forget Victoria Beckham's critically adored self-monikered couture brand -- all of which are in the black.
"But for every celebrity that makes it big, there's another screaming at their agents saying: 'They have a line, so I should have a line,'" according to Ross, who says that most of his business comes from celebrities reaching out to him through their agents.
I like Liam Gallagher's label 'Pretty Green' because it just looks like all the stuff he'd wear himself.
William Green, fashion designer
"Let me tell you, we turn down more than we take on," he adds.
Amid all this, how do "professional" designers feel about celebrity big names treading on their turf?
"From a business perspective it's clearly a good idea" says UK-based menswear designer William Green, who's currently exhibiting at London Fashion Week. "But I'm not a fan from a design point of view."
According to Green, it' can be "quite frustrating" for those that that spend their lives studying and working to build a reputation in fashion to watch as celebrities "waltz in and launch a label overnight."
This is especially true, he says, "when they cherry pick ideas from relatively unknown designers and sell cheaper copies to a wider audience."
That said, Green believes the fashion establishment can also be guilty of snobbery when it comes to "outsiders."
"It's just clothes after all ... and, you know, celebrity fashion lines are alright when they capture a personality. I like (former Oasis singer) Liam Gallagher's label Pretty Green because it just looks like all the stuff he'd wear himself."
So what advice for West before his big day on the catwalk? Branding expert Jeffrey has a sharp word of warning for any celebrity tempted to put their ego before good old-fashioned common sense:
"Whatever you do, don't make too much. Never over-order, so you leave the public wanting more. If your product is stuck on the clearance counter, you've had it."
According to Vogue magazine, the "Runaway" hit-maker has hired London-based designer Katie Eary -- known for her vivid, eye-catching designs -- as one of the creative leads developing this new signature range of womenswear.
But as we wait to discover what West has up his sleeve, it remains to be seen if the superstar's foray into fashion will prove a wise career move. And anyway, does the world really need another celebrity clothing line?
From the multi-million dollar empires of pop-singers-cum-fashion-moguls P. Diddy and Jessica Simpson to the quietly shelved apparel of Lindsay Lohan and "Sex in the City" star Sarah Jessica Parker, the celebrity fashion game is rarely a predictable business.
According branding expert Tim Jeffrey, celebrity clothing brands are particularly mercurial because their success is so closely aligned to just one individual -- whose popularity can slump at the drop of a finely tailored hat.
"Before they start, they really have to ask themselves why they want to do it in the first place," says Jeffrey, who works for international brand consultancy firm "i-am."
"The principle of celebrity ranges is sound, as long as the star in question can add value" he says. "For instance, look at Fred Perry. Here's a tennis star who could draw on his knowledge and expertise to create a credible sportswear brand that has endured even beyond his own life and career."
It's a view shared by Bruce Ross, president and CEO of specialist marketing consultancy Celebrity Fashion Group.
They really have to ask themselves why they want to do it in the first place
Tim Jeffrey, branding consultant
"Success or failure in this industry boils down to one word: Authenticity," he says. "Consumers aren't stupid and they can generally tell when a celebrity is just doing it for the money while having no interest in the product."
Ross cites singers Gwen Stefani and Beyonce Knowles as stars with sturdy fashion credentials.
Stefani is an established style icon, he says, who was known for concocting her own designs long before creating her label L.A.M.B. Meanwhile, Beyonce's line, "House of Dereon" pays tribute to her maternal grandmother Agnes Dereon -- a respected seamstress born in the 1920s.
But, according to Ross, many other stars are guilty of sheer opportunism. "Take the Kardashian sisters," he says, in reference to the American socialites who recently launched their own range, "Kardashian Kollection" at the Sears chain of department stores.
"I mean, give me a break," says Ross, "Sears is where people go to get a good deal on a washing machine or bag of tools. The partnership just doesn't make sense, it's not authentic."
It's not hard to see why every celebrity and their mother (Dina Lohan -- mom of Lindsay -- attempted to launch a budget shoe line in 2009) are hoping to cash-in on their own brand of garments. All you have to do is follow the money.
According to Women's Wear Daily magazine, Jessica Simpson's eponymous shoe and accessories brand is on it's way to becoming the first celebrity label to rake in over $1 billion of sales, while Beyonce's husband and Kanye West label-mate, Jay-Z sold the rights to his urban-flavored clothing range Rocawear for $204 million in 2007.
Then there's Elle Macpherson's lingerie business, Initmates, the eclectic lifestyle collection Elizabeth and James from former child-prodigy twins Mary and Ashley Olsen and who could forget Victoria Beckham's critically adored self-monikered couture brand -- all of which are in the black.
"But for every celebrity that makes it big, there's another screaming at their agents saying: 'They have a line, so I should have a line,'" according to Ross, who says that most of his business comes from celebrities reaching out to him through their agents.
I like Liam Gallagher's label 'Pretty Green' because it just looks like all the stuff he'd wear himself.
William Green, fashion designer
"Let me tell you, we turn down more than we take on," he adds.
Amid all this, how do "professional" designers feel about celebrity big names treading on their turf?
"From a business perspective it's clearly a good idea" says UK-based menswear designer William Green, who's currently exhibiting at London Fashion Week. "But I'm not a fan from a design point of view."
According to Green, it' can be "quite frustrating" for those that that spend their lives studying and working to build a reputation in fashion to watch as celebrities "waltz in and launch a label overnight."
This is especially true, he says, "when they cherry pick ideas from relatively unknown designers and sell cheaper copies to a wider audience."
That said, Green believes the fashion establishment can also be guilty of snobbery when it comes to "outsiders."
"It's just clothes after all ... and, you know, celebrity fashion lines are alright when they capture a personality. I like (former Oasis singer) Liam Gallagher's label Pretty Green because it just looks like all the stuff he'd wear himself."
So what advice for West before his big day on the catwalk? Branding expert Jeffrey has a sharp word of warning for any celebrity tempted to put their ego before good old-fashioned common sense:
"Whatever you do, don't make too much. Never over-order, so you leave the public wanting more. If your product is stuck on the clearance counter, you've had it."
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
BEING A GAY MAN AND LIVING IN TRINIDAD
OVER THE PAST 10 YEARS GAY MEN IN TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO HAVE BEEN TRYING TO COME OUT WITH EVERY PASSING YEAR YOU SEE IT MORE AND MORE ME FOR ONE HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH GUY MEN OR WOMEN WHAT I DO NOT LIKE ARE THE ONES WHO LIE TO THEMSELVES FULLY WELL KNOWING WHAT THEY ARE AND HIDING BEHIND WOMEN/MEN AND TRYING TO PUT UP A FRONT AS ALL IS WELL SO MY QUESTION THIS AFTERNOON IT
1 DO YOU KNOW ANYONE LIKE THAT
2 DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH GAYS
3 IF YOUR BEST FRIEND OR OVER 15 YEARS COMES OUT TO YOU WHAT WOULD SAY
4 IF YOUR CO-WORKER IS GAY WOULD YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
5 DO YOU THINK IF SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU IS GAY SHOULD YOU BE TOLD
1 DO YOU KNOW ANYONE LIKE THAT
2 DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH GAYS
3 IF YOUR BEST FRIEND OR OVER 15 YEARS COMES OUT TO YOU WHAT WOULD SAY
4 IF YOUR CO-WORKER IS GAY WOULD YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
5 DO YOU THINK IF SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU IS GAY SHOULD YOU BE TOLD
FEMALE VS MALE GYNECILOEST
View Poll Results: Which do you prefer to be seen by, for gynecological issues, a female or male doctor?
I have never been to a female doctor and prefer a male doctor 4 8.16%
I have never been to a male doctor and prefer a female doctor 12 24.49%
I have been to a female doctor but I prefer a male doctor 5 10.20%
I have been to a male doctor but I prefer a female doctor 16 32.65%
I have been to both and have no preference 12 24.49%
Voters: 49. You may not vote on this poll
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:29 AM #1 (permalink)
little_tippler
Leaning against the -Sun-
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Super Moderator
Location: on the other side
Female vs. Male Gynecologist - Preference?
There has never been any doubt in my mind that I will never want to go to a male gynecologist.
The main reason is obvious: I would never, at any time, want to put myself in a situation where I might feel that the gynecologist was doing anything but their job.
This is not to say that I think male gynecologists do this - just that I feel it's more likely to happen with a male doctor than a female one.
There are so many crass jokes about why men become gynecologists that it's impossible to remain impervious to the idea.
Other reasons I can think of, for me, is that I'm very private and reserved, so if someone other than my SO has to see me down there, then it has to be a woman and not man. Any issues relating to that area of me that I might go to a doctor for seem so private that it makes me cringe to think of discussing that sort of problem with a man, and a stranger at that.
After all, doctors are professionally trained, but they are only human also.
A reason why I'd rather go to a woman is that then they have the same gear as me, so I think they might understand better about how things feel and work down there.
Some friends of mine say they prefer a male doctor because they are more delicate, polite, and understanding than a woman is likely to be. I find this interesting but in no way does it change my mind about this. Even though I do feel that some female gynecologists aren't very delicate, which kind of confirms that claim to some degree.
How about you, do you have a preference? If so, why?
__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:02 AM #2 (permalink)
PonyPotato
Soaring
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Location: Ohio!
Why is there no option for both?
I have been to both male and female obgyns and I have no problem with or preference for either sex. If anything, I have had better luck with male gynecologists because they are more apt to listen to me talk and explain their birth control recommendations for me in medical terms rather than personal preference (I had one female obgyn refuse to prescribe me a certain birth control pill because SHE had a bad experience with it). Of course, a female obgyn is more likely to understand a type/location of pain, but I am sometimes less comfortable during my exams because their touches are TOO gentle.
My doctors have never been less than professional with me.
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— Henri-Frédéric Amiel
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:04 AM #3 (permalink)
jewels
Eponymous
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Location: Central Central Florida
I've tried three female gynecologists aInd found them to be a lot rougher during the exam and not even good at pretending to listen to any concerns.
I prefer a male touch and the ones I've been to listen and respond to the concerns I've had.
I'm not afraid. I'm never put to sleep or tied down. An assistant is required (insurance laws in the US) to be in the room. And I only go to doctors that have been recommended to me by friends.
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:11 AM #4 (permalink)
ShaniFaye
Submit to me, you know you want to
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Location: Lilburn, Ga
I've been to both and prefer males over all. I had one really really good female, but she moved away and the ones i've seen since have horrible "manners" in the doctors office
question...what if you were going to a female and you found out she was a lesbian...would you still want to be seeing her?
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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:12 AM #5 (permalink)
PonyPotato
Soaring
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Location: Ohio!
Quote:
Originally Posted by jewels View Post
I've tried three female gynecologists aInd found them to be a lot rougher during the exam and not even good at pretending to listen to any concerns.
I prefer a male touch and the ones I've been to listen and respond to the concerns I've had.
I'm not afraid. I'm never put to sleep or tied down. An assistant is required (insurance laws in the US) to be in the room. And I only go to doctors that have been recommended to me by friends.
I only had an assistant in the room during my first exam. You may have an assistant/nurse present IF you request it (in my experience), but generally I don't bother.
The female obgyns I've seen have been hyper-gentle with me, but maybe my experience is abnormal. I also prefer a male touch, though one male obgyn I visited was quite rough with me. I guess "I haven't been sexually active for two years" didn't alert him to the idea that the speculum would have a super-tight fit.
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"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:20 AM #6 (permalink)
raeanna74
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
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Location: Upper Michigan
I have never been to a Gynecologist. I just go to General practictioners or Family Physicians. I like being about to see the same Dr for both my daughter and myself and he/she knows about EVERYthing that I take or how my diet is and can get the big picture.
That said, I have seen both female and male Dr's for exams 'down there'. Emotionally I'm more comfortable with a female BUT!!! in general I find that female Dr's tend to be less gentle with your sensitive parts than a male Dr. I think that the men just tend to be more gentle than necessary, just to be on the safe side, but a woman 'knows' what a females genitals can handle. I've been to several different Dr's of both genders and that difference have been true with every one of them. I have never had a male Dr make me feel uncomfortable emotionally about worrying if they are 'just' doing their job. There is always a female nurse present too to make sure they JUST do their job.
That said, a female Dr understands better how it feels when something is going wrong down there and is more sympathetic and quick to respond to infections. For example, a male Dr wanted me to come in to get an exam BEFORE he would prescribe any cleomyicin for my bacterial vaginosis while the Female called in the prescription and THEN had me come in the same day.
There's good and bad about both. I don't worry what gender I get for regular exams as much as who is more qualified. I find that most clinics have their Dr's and their credentials posted on a clinic website and I can peruse and pick the more qualified. I also talk to others to find out who has the best bedside manner.
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:39 AM #7 (permalink)
ItWasMe
But You'll Never Prove It.
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Location: under your bed
I voted 'been to male but prefer female obgyn.' But only slightly, and really only because they possess the same physical parts that I have, and probably know what it feels like for females to have bladder/yeast infections, cramping, etc.
Now that I think about it, I do prefer male. In my experience, they are a quite a bit more gentle with their touch especially that dreaded pap. When they switched from cotton tip swabs to small brushes, I saw a big difference in bedside manner male vs. female. Males are also more likely warm up their hands/instruments, less likely to jab, and are more sympathetic to pain or discomfort regarding symptoms or treatment. I almost asked a female NP once if I'd stolen her boyfriend in high school or something. I think she was having a bad day.
The exception is older men who are almost ready to retire. Not fond of their tough-old-bird manners, at all.
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez
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Last edited by ItWasMe; 09-09-2008 at 07:42 AM..
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:51 AM #8 (permalink)
abaya
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Location: Iceland
I didn't vote because there was no option for me: No preference, as long as the doc knows what he/she is doing, then I don't really care.
I have seen both male and females, and in the US at least... if the man is doing an exam, there is always a female nurse present (mostly as a form of insurance in case someone accuses the man of doing something wrong, etc). So I guess I have never really felt like it makes a difference.
My very first gyno exam was by a male, however... when I was 18 and very much a virgin (had not even masturbated)--so that was a little bit stressful, but more because of it being my "first time" than because the doc was a male.
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for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
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Old 09-09-2008, 08:05 AM #9 (permalink)
snowy
Kick Ass Kunoichi
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Location: Oregon
I've never had an exam done by an OBGYN; they've always been done by either my former GP (a female) or a nurse practitioner that specialized in family planning, though my last annual was done by a PA who specialized in family planning. I've always had a woman perform the exam, and have never had a bad experience. I did learn the lesson young, though, that some female doctors/practitioners just don't know where their patients are coming from on certain issues. My doctor when I was 12-13 gave me naproxen for menstrual cramps, because she had never had cramps and didn't know what kind of pain I was in (I was missing school at least once a month due to the pain). Needless to say, the naproxen didn't do shit. With my next doctor, I explained what had happened and that the pain was bad enough to warrant something stronger; she prescribed appropriately, and put me on birth control too. But it's like going for a haircut; if you don't speak up, you might not like what you get.
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Old 09-09-2008, 08:26 AM #10 (permalink)
*Nikki*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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Location: Charleston, SC
A prefer female.
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Old 09-09-2008, 11:32 AM #11 (permalink)
annie1
Insane
I have not ever had a male gyno, only female. I prefer this because I am pretty reserved about these kinds of things and I am more comfortable with a woman dr.
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:36 PM #12 (permalink)
Ayashe
Psycho
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I honestly don't care. There are good doctors and bad doctors of every gender, and I have had those experiences with both. I think gender has little to do with getting a good exam with a qualified health care provider.
What I would recommend for everyone would be to stick with what you are comfortable with. If male providers make you less comfortable then you should be seeking a female. Whatever gets you checked out when you need to be is most important. If you are avoiding a situation because it makes you uncomfortable, you should do whatever you need to in changing it.
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Old 09-10-2008, 03:09 AM #13 (permalink)
little_tippler
Leaning against the -Sun-
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Super Moderator
Location: on the other side
Quote:
Originally Posted by merleniau
Why is there no option for both?
Quote:
Originally Posted by abaya
I didn't vote because there was no option for me: No preference, as long as the doc knows what he/she is doing, then I don't really care.
Point taken, the option is there now. Did not occurr to me at the time.
I also changed the poll wording to include all doctors, because that's the point, and not to distinguish between types of doctors, but to distinguish between preference to be seen by a male or a female doctor.
__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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Old 09-10-2008, 03:27 AM #14 (permalink)
noodle
Une petite chou
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Location: With All Your Base
I've never been to a male gynecologist.
Nor do I really care to because I've had some pretty complex issues and when they're sticking a giant electric freezing wand on my cervix, I want someone who has the potential to know what that feels like. Or that has gone through the hormonal effects of bc.
I've had numerous GPs that were male that completely brushed off some of my concerns that were related to "female issues".
I've done a lot of research before going to any of the GYNs I've chosen because of the complex nature of my weird body at times.
I've been lucky to find empathetic, skilled and personable physicians for the past 18 years. And they've all been women.
Actually, after the last jerk-off that argued with me about an antibiotic that had horrible side effect potential and would knock my BC effectiveness down with a quickness, I'm looking at changing my PCP to a competent, intelligent female, too.
In my experience, it's just been a better... well, experience... with female physicians.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9
Just realize that you're armed with smart but heavily outnumbered.
The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. Ayn Rand
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Old 09-10-2008, 04:34 AM #15 (permalink)
ngdawg
peekaboo
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Location: on the back, bitch
My fertility doctors and obstetrician were male, but my primary now is female and I love her. If she ever retires, I'll be heartbroken.
I prefer females as gynos-that "been there, done that" that I have with this one just makes it more relaxing.
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Old 09-10-2008, 08:09 AM #16 (permalink)
girldetective
sufferable
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When I go to any doctor I expect them to be professional and to know their stuff whether it is a man or a woman. I have no preference. I look for someone who I understand and who understands me, someone I can communicate easily with, and someone with whom there is a mutual respect.
I have been seeing my nurse practitioner for 20+ years and I can often do business over the phone, but she doesnt let me get away with too much time passed between visits, no longer than a year. Its a perfect balance. We have humor and comraderie between us, and at my annual exam Im asked to book a little extra time to catch up on each other's lives in full rather than just in passing. This relationship is valuable to me.
What sold me on her in the beginning was when she excused herself from the office and came back with a text book. We looked things up together to arrive at a diagnosis.
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Last edited by girldetective; 09-10-2008 at 08:12 AM..
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Old 09-10-2008, 07:22 PM #17 (permalink)
*monique*
Upright
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I have only gone to one female gyno, all the rest have been males. I honestly could care less about male/female. I hate the entire process, doesn't matter gender of doctor.
I rely more on my "connection" to determine if I have the right doctor, any doctor. If we cannot communicate and work on issues/concerns together, then we have a problem!
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Old 09-11-2008, 03:50 PM #18 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green
...is a comical chap
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Location: Where morons reign supreme
I've never been to a gynecologist, just family practioners and obstetricians. I've had both male and females for both, and I far prefer women to men. My family doctor right now is a wonderful lady and if we end up moving soon, leaving her behind will be my only regret.
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Formerly Medusa
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Old 09-13-2008, 03:09 PM #19 (permalink)
RangerJoe
Addict
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I prefer male doctors in general, not just as an OBGYN. I've always felt more comfortable around males, even if they are looking at my sensitive parts. I've had a couple of doctors that I wouldn't let give me an exam because I didn't feel comfortable, so I would switch doctors. I've moved around a lot, so I have mastered knowing what I feel is right for me in a doctor.
That's not to say that I would NEVER go to a female. I just haven't found one that I've been comfortable enough around to keep as my doctor.
A little off subject, but when I was 16 and getting my very first pap smear/OBGYN checkup (I had just found out I was pregnant), I had an Indian female doctor. Now, mind you, I had never had a pap smear and I had no clue what was involved in getting my first pregnancy exam. So, there I am, laying on this cold table, my best friend right beside me, legs spread open on the stir ups. The doctor does the heart beat, does the measurements, and then does the pap smear. I relax, thinking I'm about done.
Next thing I know, there's a finger up my ass and I about went through the wall.
"Oh!" said the doctor. "Finger up the rectum!"
Needless to say, I never went back to her. (;
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Old 09-17-2008, 06:24 PM #20 (permalink)
Meditrina
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When I was pregnant with each of my children the ob/gyn office I went to had many doctors, both male and female. As a non high-risk pregnancy, I saw a different doctor at each visit. This gave me the opportunity to determine which doctor was best for me for non-pregnancy related visits. I chose a female because she understood my PMDD better than the male doctor did. The male doctor dismissed my feelings as if they were not important, or not true. The female asked better questions about my depression and was then able to diagnose my PMS as PMDD. I feel much more comfortable with her now. Which reminds me, I need to call for an appointment.
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Old 09-19-2008, 10:02 AM #21 (permalink)
redjello
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Location: US and Canada.
I would not go to a traditional doctor for ob-gyn, but a midwife: no stirrups, no gown or cold table or bright lights, no chaperone, and the exam can be performed at home on the bed.
Better yet, I look forward to the do-it-yourself pap smear coming out in the next few years. One type is already being used in Africa. It will probably be suppressed by traditional medicine in the US because doctors will lose business to the do-it-yourselfers.
Plus there is the AMAS blood test (Anti-Malignin Antibody Screening) available from alternative health providers. This provides the early detection of any cancer without the humiliating pelvic and breast exam. Only downside is that it costs $500. Some insurances may help cover it, though. With a spare $500, that's the route I would go first before any ob-gyn exam.
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Old 09-21-2008, 12:32 PM #22 (permalink)
Falconclaw240
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye View Post
I've been to both and prefer males over all. I had one really really good female, but she moved away and the ones i've seen since have horrible "manners" in the doctors office
question...what if you were going to a female and you found out she was a lesbian...would you still want to be seeing her?
Yes actualy, it has never been a big problem to me that men are suppost to be attracted to women, but more along the lines of the fact that Telling my concerns to female Gynos has always been Akin to talking to my mom
By the same aspect, if I found out my male gyno was gay, i'd have the same ammount of adversion to looking him in the eye and asking why this discharge smells funny as any straight man would make me feel.
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Old 09-21-2008, 05:47 PM #23 (permalink)
surferlove007
Junkie
I've been to both male and female. I was surprised with the male visit because when I was going for BC at tech my first time the doctor said I HAD to have an exam before they gave me the prescription...sneaky bastards! To be honest he was the most gentle doctor I've ever had. Everyone else has been female..some have been terrible...others have been just fine. My colposcopy experience totally scarred me. I just HATE going in for an annual. I hate it with a passion. I wish James could just do it. I'm due for mine in october..I recently just got off birth control a first months ago and James and I are discussing other options like an IUD. So again..gotta face the dragon.
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Old 09-24-2008, 12:50 PM #24 (permalink)
lostgirl
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I have had both male and female. I prefer female for the same reason as the OP.
One time I had a male gyno that made me feel very uncomfortable. He was very creepy, and made me feel like he was enjoying his job a little too much.
I go out of my way to get a female since that happened.
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Old 10-19-2008, 06:42 PM #25 (permalink)
stellabella1978
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Originally Posted by jewels View Post
I've tried three female gynecologists aInd found them to be a lot rougher during the exam and not even good at pretending to listen to any concerns.
I prefer a male touch and the ones I've been to listen and respond to the concerns I've had.
I agree. The two female gynecologists I have had did not listen to my concerns at all, and they were rough.
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:22 AM #26 (permalink)
SabrinaFair
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I've had my annual done by four different people: 2 men, 2 women. In my experience, women just have a better bedside manner...I think men feel obligated to make conversation. Halfway through an exam from a male gyno, he let it slip that he's a Republican. As a yellow dog Democrat, I wanted to scream, "Get out of there!"
I've also had a male GYN get kind of judgmental about my sex life....but I don't think that was gender-related, I just think it was that particular doctor.
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Old 01-04-2009, 03:25 PM #27 (permalink)
slightlyaskew
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I guess I fall into a 6th category: Have never had a female doctor so not sure WHICH I would prefer.
In the area where I live, there are no female OB/GYNs save one - who doesn't take new patients.
So, I can make no comparison.
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Old 01-09-2009, 06:19 PM #28 (permalink)
KarrB
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I like a female best. But really it doesn't matter if the guy is nice and tuned in....
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Old 02-03-2009, 08:24 PM #29 (permalink)
Tiny Dancer
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I have never been to a male doc but if I needed to I would, but I like my Kim she is supper nice sensitive and caring. Oh, and i can ask anything and everything.
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Old 02-03-2009, 09:46 PM #30 (permalink)
settie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slightlyaskew View Post
I guess I fall into a 6th category: Have never had a female doctor so not sure WHICH I would prefer.
In the area where I live, there are no female OB/GYNs save one - who doesn't take new patients.
So, I can make no comparison.
Ditto, same here
Only ever had a male doctor, so i don't know.
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Old 12-21-2010, 06:50 PM #31 (permalink)
minamu
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Male v Female Gynecologist
Well, I've had bad experiences with male gynecologists, so that has colored my perceptions, probably, but on the other hand, why should a male be able to relate to what a gynecological exam feels like? In my experience, most of the males have not been gentle and have hurt me more, so I opted for females. I have really never had a bad experience with a female; they are usually super sensitive, warm up the tools before inserting, insert them slowly, ask how I'm doing, etc. After 2 or 3 bad experiences with males, I don't go to them any more. Also, I started to wonder exactly WHY a male would want to be a gynecologist. Do they have some weird obsession? Finally, when President Bush said that thing about gynecologists not being able to practice their "love," that pretty much made me want to vomit and feel like something may well be going on with males who are gynecologists. I figure either they find women mysterious and want to know everything, or they are freaky, and either way is not good. Sorry, I just can no longer get past the creep factor. And, I think there are some that just like knowing more about a woman's body than the average woman. More of the paternalistic control freak kind of thing. No thanks. I'm sure it's possible to get the aberrant sadistic female gyno as well, but I think it would indeed be an aberration.
Read more: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/ladies-lounge/140037-female-vs-male-gynecologist-preference.html#ixzz1YWPnv0hU
I have never been to a female doctor and prefer a male doctor 4 8.16%
I have never been to a male doctor and prefer a female doctor 12 24.49%
I have been to a female doctor but I prefer a male doctor 5 10.20%
I have been to a male doctor but I prefer a female doctor 16 32.65%
I have been to both and have no preference 12 24.49%
Voters: 49. You may not vote on this poll
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:29 AM #1 (permalink)
little_tippler
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Female vs. Male Gynecologist - Preference?
There has never been any doubt in my mind that I will never want to go to a male gynecologist.
The main reason is obvious: I would never, at any time, want to put myself in a situation where I might feel that the gynecologist was doing anything but their job.
This is not to say that I think male gynecologists do this - just that I feel it's more likely to happen with a male doctor than a female one.
There are so many crass jokes about why men become gynecologists that it's impossible to remain impervious to the idea.
Other reasons I can think of, for me, is that I'm very private and reserved, so if someone other than my SO has to see me down there, then it has to be a woman and not man. Any issues relating to that area of me that I might go to a doctor for seem so private that it makes me cringe to think of discussing that sort of problem with a man, and a stranger at that.
After all, doctors are professionally trained, but they are only human also.
A reason why I'd rather go to a woman is that then they have the same gear as me, so I think they might understand better about how things feel and work down there.
Some friends of mine say they prefer a male doctor because they are more delicate, polite, and understanding than a woman is likely to be. I find this interesting but in no way does it change my mind about this. Even though I do feel that some female gynecologists aren't very delicate, which kind of confirms that claim to some degree.
How about you, do you have a preference? If so, why?
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:02 AM #2 (permalink)
PonyPotato
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Why is there no option for both?
I have been to both male and female obgyns and I have no problem with or preference for either sex. If anything, I have had better luck with male gynecologists because they are more apt to listen to me talk and explain their birth control recommendations for me in medical terms rather than personal preference (I had one female obgyn refuse to prescribe me a certain birth control pill because SHE had a bad experience with it). Of course, a female obgyn is more likely to understand a type/location of pain, but I am sometimes less comfortable during my exams because their touches are TOO gentle.
My doctors have never been less than professional with me.
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:04 AM #3 (permalink)
jewels
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I've tried three female gynecologists aInd found them to be a lot rougher during the exam and not even good at pretending to listen to any concerns.
I prefer a male touch and the ones I've been to listen and respond to the concerns I've had.
I'm not afraid. I'm never put to sleep or tied down. An assistant is required (insurance laws in the US) to be in the room. And I only go to doctors that have been recommended to me by friends.
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:11 AM #4 (permalink)
ShaniFaye
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I've been to both and prefer males over all. I had one really really good female, but she moved away and the ones i've seen since have horrible "manners" in the doctors office
question...what if you were going to a female and you found out she was a lesbian...would you still want to be seeing her?
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:12 AM #5 (permalink)
PonyPotato
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jewels View Post
I've tried three female gynecologists aInd found them to be a lot rougher during the exam and not even good at pretending to listen to any concerns.
I prefer a male touch and the ones I've been to listen and respond to the concerns I've had.
I'm not afraid. I'm never put to sleep or tied down. An assistant is required (insurance laws in the US) to be in the room. And I only go to doctors that have been recommended to me by friends.
I only had an assistant in the room during my first exam. You may have an assistant/nurse present IF you request it (in my experience), but generally I don't bother.
The female obgyns I've seen have been hyper-gentle with me, but maybe my experience is abnormal. I also prefer a male touch, though one male obgyn I visited was quite rough with me. I guess "I haven't been sexually active for two years" didn't alert him to the idea that the speculum would have a super-tight fit.
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:20 AM #6 (permalink)
raeanna74
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I have never been to a Gynecologist. I just go to General practictioners or Family Physicians. I like being about to see the same Dr for both my daughter and myself and he/she knows about EVERYthing that I take or how my diet is and can get the big picture.
That said, I have seen both female and male Dr's for exams 'down there'. Emotionally I'm more comfortable with a female BUT!!! in general I find that female Dr's tend to be less gentle with your sensitive parts than a male Dr. I think that the men just tend to be more gentle than necessary, just to be on the safe side, but a woman 'knows' what a females genitals can handle. I've been to several different Dr's of both genders and that difference have been true with every one of them. I have never had a male Dr make me feel uncomfortable emotionally about worrying if they are 'just' doing their job. There is always a female nurse present too to make sure they JUST do their job.
That said, a female Dr understands better how it feels when something is going wrong down there and is more sympathetic and quick to respond to infections. For example, a male Dr wanted me to come in to get an exam BEFORE he would prescribe any cleomyicin for my bacterial vaginosis while the Female called in the prescription and THEN had me come in the same day.
There's good and bad about both. I don't worry what gender I get for regular exams as much as who is more qualified. I find that most clinics have their Dr's and their credentials posted on a clinic website and I can peruse and pick the more qualified. I also talk to others to find out who has the best bedside manner.
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:39 AM #7 (permalink)
ItWasMe
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I voted 'been to male but prefer female obgyn.' But only slightly, and really only because they possess the same physical parts that I have, and probably know what it feels like for females to have bladder/yeast infections, cramping, etc.
Now that I think about it, I do prefer male. In my experience, they are a quite a bit more gentle with their touch especially that dreaded pap. When they switched from cotton tip swabs to small brushes, I saw a big difference in bedside manner male vs. female. Males are also more likely warm up their hands/instruments, less likely to jab, and are more sympathetic to pain or discomfort regarding symptoms or treatment. I almost asked a female NP once if I'd stolen her boyfriend in high school or something. I think she was having a bad day.
The exception is older men who are almost ready to retire. Not fond of their tough-old-bird manners, at all.
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:51 AM #8 (permalink)
abaya
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Location: Iceland
I didn't vote because there was no option for me: No preference, as long as the doc knows what he/she is doing, then I don't really care.
I have seen both male and females, and in the US at least... if the man is doing an exam, there is always a female nurse present (mostly as a form of insurance in case someone accuses the man of doing something wrong, etc). So I guess I have never really felt like it makes a difference.
My very first gyno exam was by a male, however... when I was 18 and very much a virgin (had not even masturbated)--so that was a little bit stressful, but more because of it being my "first time" than because the doc was a male.
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Old 09-09-2008, 08:05 AM #9 (permalink)
snowy
Kick Ass Kunoichi
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Location: Oregon
I've never had an exam done by an OBGYN; they've always been done by either my former GP (a female) or a nurse practitioner that specialized in family planning, though my last annual was done by a PA who specialized in family planning. I've always had a woman perform the exam, and have never had a bad experience. I did learn the lesson young, though, that some female doctors/practitioners just don't know where their patients are coming from on certain issues. My doctor when I was 12-13 gave me naproxen for menstrual cramps, because she had never had cramps and didn't know what kind of pain I was in (I was missing school at least once a month due to the pain). Needless to say, the naproxen didn't do shit. With my next doctor, I explained what had happened and that the pain was bad enough to warrant something stronger; she prescribed appropriately, and put me on birth control too. But it's like going for a haircut; if you don't speak up, you might not like what you get.
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Old 09-09-2008, 08:26 AM #10 (permalink)
*Nikki*
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A prefer female.
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Old 09-09-2008, 11:32 AM #11 (permalink)
annie1
Insane
I have not ever had a male gyno, only female. I prefer this because I am pretty reserved about these kinds of things and I am more comfortable with a woman dr.
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:36 PM #12 (permalink)
Ayashe
Psycho
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I honestly don't care. There are good doctors and bad doctors of every gender, and I have had those experiences with both. I think gender has little to do with getting a good exam with a qualified health care provider.
What I would recommend for everyone would be to stick with what you are comfortable with. If male providers make you less comfortable then you should be seeking a female. Whatever gets you checked out when you need to be is most important. If you are avoiding a situation because it makes you uncomfortable, you should do whatever you need to in changing it.
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Old 09-10-2008, 03:09 AM #13 (permalink)
little_tippler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by merleniau
Why is there no option for both?
Quote:
Originally Posted by abaya
I didn't vote because there was no option for me: No preference, as long as the doc knows what he/she is doing, then I don't really care.
Point taken, the option is there now. Did not occurr to me at the time.
I also changed the poll wording to include all doctors, because that's the point, and not to distinguish between types of doctors, but to distinguish between preference to be seen by a male or a female doctor.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
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Old 09-10-2008, 03:27 AM #14 (permalink)
noodle
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I've never been to a male gynecologist.
Nor do I really care to because I've had some pretty complex issues and when they're sticking a giant electric freezing wand on my cervix, I want someone who has the potential to know what that feels like. Or that has gone through the hormonal effects of bc.
I've had numerous GPs that were male that completely brushed off some of my concerns that were related to "female issues".
I've done a lot of research before going to any of the GYNs I've chosen because of the complex nature of my weird body at times.
I've been lucky to find empathetic, skilled and personable physicians for the past 18 years. And they've all been women.
Actually, after the last jerk-off that argued with me about an antibiotic that had horrible side effect potential and would knock my BC effectiveness down with a quickness, I'm looking at changing my PCP to a competent, intelligent female, too.
In my experience, it's just been a better... well, experience... with female physicians.
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Old 09-10-2008, 04:34 AM #15 (permalink)
ngdawg
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My fertility doctors and obstetrician were male, but my primary now is female and I love her. If she ever retires, I'll be heartbroken.
I prefer females as gynos-that "been there, done that" that I have with this one just makes it more relaxing.
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Old 09-10-2008, 08:09 AM #16 (permalink)
girldetective
sufferable
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When I go to any doctor I expect them to be professional and to know their stuff whether it is a man or a woman. I have no preference. I look for someone who I understand and who understands me, someone I can communicate easily with, and someone with whom there is a mutual respect.
I have been seeing my nurse practitioner for 20+ years and I can often do business over the phone, but she doesnt let me get away with too much time passed between visits, no longer than a year. Its a perfect balance. We have humor and comraderie between us, and at my annual exam Im asked to book a little extra time to catch up on each other's lives in full rather than just in passing. This relationship is valuable to me.
What sold me on her in the beginning was when she excused herself from the office and came back with a text book. We looked things up together to arrive at a diagnosis.
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Old 09-10-2008, 07:22 PM #17 (permalink)
*monique*
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I have only gone to one female gyno, all the rest have been males. I honestly could care less about male/female. I hate the entire process, doesn't matter gender of doctor.
I rely more on my "connection" to determine if I have the right doctor, any doctor. If we cannot communicate and work on issues/concerns together, then we have a problem!
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Old 09-11-2008, 03:50 PM #18 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green
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I've never been to a gynecologist, just family practioners and obstetricians. I've had both male and females for both, and I far prefer women to men. My family doctor right now is a wonderful lady and if we end up moving soon, leaving her behind will be my only regret.
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Old 09-13-2008, 03:09 PM #19 (permalink)
RangerJoe
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I prefer male doctors in general, not just as an OBGYN. I've always felt more comfortable around males, even if they are looking at my sensitive parts. I've had a couple of doctors that I wouldn't let give me an exam because I didn't feel comfortable, so I would switch doctors. I've moved around a lot, so I have mastered knowing what I feel is right for me in a doctor.
That's not to say that I would NEVER go to a female. I just haven't found one that I've been comfortable enough around to keep as my doctor.
A little off subject, but when I was 16 and getting my very first pap smear/OBGYN checkup (I had just found out I was pregnant), I had an Indian female doctor. Now, mind you, I had never had a pap smear and I had no clue what was involved in getting my first pregnancy exam. So, there I am, laying on this cold table, my best friend right beside me, legs spread open on the stir ups. The doctor does the heart beat, does the measurements, and then does the pap smear. I relax, thinking I'm about done.
Next thing I know, there's a finger up my ass and I about went through the wall.
"Oh!" said the doctor. "Finger up the rectum!"
Needless to say, I never went back to her. (;
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Old 09-17-2008, 06:24 PM #20 (permalink)
Meditrina
Junkie
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When I was pregnant with each of my children the ob/gyn office I went to had many doctors, both male and female. As a non high-risk pregnancy, I saw a different doctor at each visit. This gave me the opportunity to determine which doctor was best for me for non-pregnancy related visits. I chose a female because she understood my PMDD better than the male doctor did. The male doctor dismissed my feelings as if they were not important, or not true. The female asked better questions about my depression and was then able to diagnose my PMS as PMDD. I feel much more comfortable with her now. Which reminds me, I need to call for an appointment.
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Old 09-19-2008, 10:02 AM #21 (permalink)
redjello
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Location: US and Canada.
I would not go to a traditional doctor for ob-gyn, but a midwife: no stirrups, no gown or cold table or bright lights, no chaperone, and the exam can be performed at home on the bed.
Better yet, I look forward to the do-it-yourself pap smear coming out in the next few years. One type is already being used in Africa. It will probably be suppressed by traditional medicine in the US because doctors will lose business to the do-it-yourselfers.
Plus there is the AMAS blood test (Anti-Malignin Antibody Screening) available from alternative health providers. This provides the early detection of any cancer without the humiliating pelvic and breast exam. Only downside is that it costs $500. Some insurances may help cover it, though. With a spare $500, that's the route I would go first before any ob-gyn exam.
redjello is offline
Old 09-21-2008, 12:32 PM #22 (permalink)
Falconclaw240
Upright
Location: georgia
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye View Post
I've been to both and prefer males over all. I had one really really good female, but she moved away and the ones i've seen since have horrible "manners" in the doctors office
question...what if you were going to a female and you found out she was a lesbian...would you still want to be seeing her?
Yes actualy, it has never been a big problem to me that men are suppost to be attracted to women, but more along the lines of the fact that Telling my concerns to female Gynos has always been Akin to talking to my mom
By the same aspect, if I found out my male gyno was gay, i'd have the same ammount of adversion to looking him in the eye and asking why this discharge smells funny as any straight man would make me feel.
Falconclaw240 is offline
Old 09-21-2008, 05:47 PM #23 (permalink)
surferlove007
Junkie
I've been to both male and female. I was surprised with the male visit because when I was going for BC at tech my first time the doctor said I HAD to have an exam before they gave me the prescription...sneaky bastards! To be honest he was the most gentle doctor I've ever had. Everyone else has been female..some have been terrible...others have been just fine. My colposcopy experience totally scarred me. I just HATE going in for an annual. I hate it with a passion. I wish James could just do it. I'm due for mine in october..I recently just got off birth control a first months ago and James and I are discussing other options like an IUD. So again..gotta face the dragon.
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Old 09-24-2008, 12:50 PM #24 (permalink)
lostgirl
lightform
lostgirl's Avatar
Location: Edge of the deep green sea
I have had both male and female. I prefer female for the same reason as the OP.
One time I had a male gyno that made me feel very uncomfortable. He was very creepy, and made me feel like he was enjoying his job a little too much.
I go out of my way to get a female since that happened.
lostgirl is offline
Old 10-19-2008, 06:42 PM #25 (permalink)
stellabella1978
Upright
Location: Portland, Oregon
Quote:
Originally Posted by jewels View Post
I've tried three female gynecologists aInd found them to be a lot rougher during the exam and not even good at pretending to listen to any concerns.
I prefer a male touch and the ones I've been to listen and respond to the concerns I've had.
I agree. The two female gynecologists I have had did not listen to my concerns at all, and they were rough.
stellabella1978 is offline
Old 10-24-2008, 06:22 AM #26 (permalink)
SabrinaFair
Junkie
SabrinaFair's Avatar
Location: Louisville, KY
I've had my annual done by four different people: 2 men, 2 women. In my experience, women just have a better bedside manner...I think men feel obligated to make conversation. Halfway through an exam from a male gyno, he let it slip that he's a Republican. As a yellow dog Democrat, I wanted to scream, "Get out of there!"
I've also had a male GYN get kind of judgmental about my sex life....but I don't think that was gender-related, I just think it was that particular doctor.
__________________
"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata
SabrinaFair is offline
Old 01-04-2009, 03:25 PM #27 (permalink)
slightlyaskew
Upright
slightlyaskew's Avatar
Location: Arkansas
I guess I fall into a 6th category: Have never had a female doctor so not sure WHICH I would prefer.
In the area where I live, there are no female OB/GYNs save one - who doesn't take new patients.
So, I can make no comparison.
__________________
sa
A day without sunshine is like night.
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Old 01-09-2009, 06:19 PM #28 (permalink)
KarrB
Upright
I like a female best. But really it doesn't matter if the guy is nice and tuned in....
KarrB is offline
Old 02-03-2009, 08:24 PM #29 (permalink)
Tiny Dancer
Registered User
Location: D-Town, Co
I have never been to a male doc but if I needed to I would, but I like my Kim she is supper nice sensitive and caring. Oh, and i can ask anything and everything.
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Old 02-03-2009, 09:46 PM #30 (permalink)
settie
The Scandalous Wench
settie's Avatar
Location: Wherever it is, its cold.
Quote:
Originally Posted by slightlyaskew View Post
I guess I fall into a 6th category: Have never had a female doctor so not sure WHICH I would prefer.
In the area where I live, there are no female OB/GYNs save one - who doesn't take new patients.
So, I can make no comparison.
Ditto, same here
Only ever had a male doctor, so i don't know.
settie is offline
Old 12-21-2010, 06:50 PM #31 (permalink)
minamu
Upright
Male v Female Gynecologist
Well, I've had bad experiences with male gynecologists, so that has colored my perceptions, probably, but on the other hand, why should a male be able to relate to what a gynecological exam feels like? In my experience, most of the males have not been gentle and have hurt me more, so I opted for females. I have really never had a bad experience with a female; they are usually super sensitive, warm up the tools before inserting, insert them slowly, ask how I'm doing, etc. After 2 or 3 bad experiences with males, I don't go to them any more. Also, I started to wonder exactly WHY a male would want to be a gynecologist. Do they have some weird obsession? Finally, when President Bush said that thing about gynecologists not being able to practice their "love," that pretty much made me want to vomit and feel like something may well be going on with males who are gynecologists. I figure either they find women mysterious and want to know everything, or they are freaky, and either way is not good. Sorry, I just can no longer get past the creep factor. And, I think there are some that just like knowing more about a woman's body than the average woman. More of the paternalistic control freak kind of thing. No thanks. I'm sure it's possible to get the aberrant sadistic female gyno as well, but I think it would indeed be an aberration.
Read more: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/ladies-lounge/140037-female-vs-male-gynecologist-preference.html#ixzz1YWPnv0hU
5 TOP wedding tips for December
5. Cutting the cake
Cutting the wedding cake will always remain a wedding tradition. Perform this ritual before you are seated, after which the starter would be served. This extra drama ensures that the moment is given the substance it deserves.
Cutting the wedding cake will always remain a wedding tradition. Perform this ritual before you are seated, after which the starter would be served. This extra drama ensures that the moment is given the substance it deserves.
5 TOP wedding tips for December
4. Ceremonies
Create ceremony seating in a round or square pattern with the Bridal couple and officiating officer in the middle. Explore the possibilities of more than one aisle. Look into the many options available today in chair and cushion colours and sizes, etc. For a beach theme wedding consider benches with cushions; on a large, lush lawn try a spiral circle of ottomans.
Create ceremony seating in a round or square pattern with the Bridal couple and officiating officer in the middle. Explore the possibilities of more than one aisle. Look into the many options available today in chair and cushion colours and sizes, etc. For a beach theme wedding consider benches with cushions; on a large, lush lawn try a spiral circle of ottomans.
5 TOP wedding tips for December
3. Lighting and colour
We are in a new decade so put together extraordinary and unexpected colour combinations… be daring. Here are some palettes to get the creative juices going:
Turquoise with a bright, energetic blue and a shot of orange
Coral with a bright transparent yellow and dove silver
Tomato red (this summer’s favourite) with fuchsia and purples
A pale palette of violet, lavender, deeper purple and opulent gold accessories
Approach the design of your wedding the way an interior decorator designs rooms in a home – no two rooms need to be the same colours, linen or even flowers.
We are in a new decade so put together extraordinary and unexpected colour combinations… be daring. Here are some palettes to get the creative juices going:
Turquoise with a bright, energetic blue and a shot of orange
Coral with a bright transparent yellow and dove silver
Tomato red (this summer’s favourite) with fuchsia and purples
A pale palette of violet, lavender, deeper purple and opulent gold accessories
Approach the design of your wedding the way an interior decorator designs rooms in a home – no two rooms need to be the same colours, linen or even flowers.
5 TOP wedding tips for December
2. Transforming your DREAM into a DESIGN
The trade secret to finding a ‘trendy’ wedding design does not come from following the latest trends, but from reflecting the Bride and Groom’s unique personalities. Wedding coordinators and designers will continue to convert the couple’s dreams into a reality by finding ways of inspiration, shaping their vision and using all five senses to assemble the wedding day experience. Keep your guests and family members guessing throughout the planning process and on the wedding day by not revealing any information about the wedding and décor prior to your special day.
The trade secret to finding a ‘trendy’ wedding design does not come from following the latest trends, but from reflecting the Bride and Groom’s unique personalities. Wedding coordinators and designers will continue to convert the couple’s dreams into a reality by finding ways of inspiration, shaping their vision and using all five senses to assemble the wedding day experience. Keep your guests and family members guessing throughout the planning process and on the wedding day by not revealing any information about the wedding and décor prior to your special day.
5 TOP wedding tips for December
1. The Guest List
Every Bride wants her wedding to be stunning and beautiful, one way to ensure an elegant experience is to have a more intimate guest list, these days 80 to 150 guests is the norm. But beware: the number of guests that Brides and Grooms initially agree on often differs significantly from the actual result after preparing a list of each and every guest they wish to invite.
Every Bride wants her wedding to be stunning and beautiful, one way to ensure an elegant experience is to have a more intimate guest list, these days 80 to 150 guests is the norm. But beware: the number of guests that Brides and Grooms initially agree on often differs significantly from the actual result after preparing a list of each and every guest they wish to invite.
WHAT YOU ALL THINK ABOUT THIS "FALLING FOR A FRIEND" READ!!!
For the past 9 months Ive been sleeping with a friend from school. Over these months weve gotten really close. Hes been the man in my life my confidant. Im starting to have feelings of love. Well on the last 2 months hes been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Hes been going through hell but Ive been there for him.he has a two year old son and after being diagnosed he proposed to his sons mother....I was upset but didnt show it. After finding this out i still sleep with him we still converse daily. What do u do when you know loving someone will hurt.
Rosie O'Donnell Has a New Girlfriend
Rosie O'Donnell has a new girlfriend – and they met at Starbucks!
O'Donnell, who returns to TV Oct. 10 with a new talk program, The Rosie Show, on Oprah Winfrey's OWN network, introduced her new girlfriend Michelle Rounds Monday night at O'Donnell's annual Rosie Theater Kids Gala in New York City.
"They met at a Starbucks a few months ago," a source tells PEOPLE. "They are adorable together and are very, very happy."
O'Donnell, who returns to TV Oct. 10 with a new talk program, The Rosie Show, on Oprah Winfrey's OWN network, introduced her new girlfriend Michelle Rounds Monday night at O'Donnell's annual Rosie Theater Kids Gala in New York City.
"They met at a Starbucks a few months ago," a source tells PEOPLE. "They are adorable together and are very, very happy."
Economy enters 'dangerous phase'
The global economy has entered a "dangerous new phase" of sharply lower growth, according to the International Monetary Fund (IMF).
The organisation warned that continuing political and economic woes in the US and eurozone could force them back into recession.
The IMF says the prognosis for economies in the developed world is "weak and bumpy expansion".
It predicts their GDP will expand "at an anaemic pace of 1.5% in 2011".
The IMF believes global growth will shrink to 4% in 2012, from 5% last year, on factors such as "major financial turbulence in the eurozone".
It slashed the its growth projections for the 17-nation eurozone to 1.6% in 2011, down from 2% predicted in June. Next year, growth will be 1.1%, down from 1.7%.
The US - the world's largest economy - is likely to have weak growth "for years to come".
UK worries
Continue reading the main story
“Start Quote
The Fund has moved one step closer to saying the downside scenario has arrived. But it has stopped short of saying it. This is entirely understandable at a time when confidence is at a premium”
image of Stephanie Flanders Stephanie Flanders Economics editor, BBC News
Read Stephanie's blog
Italy has debt rating cut by S&P
'No panacea' from emerging states
Eurozone in crisis graphics: Deficits
And the UK, the growth forecast for 2011 has also been revised downwards, from 1.5% to 1.1%, while the forecast for 2012 was cut to 1.6%, from 2.3%.
"It would be wise for both governments and businesses [in the UK] to develop contingency plans in case such a double dip scenario does emerge," said John Hawksworth, PwC's chief economist.
Among the major advanced economies, the IMF now thinks Germany will be the only country to grow by more than 2% in 2011.
In 2012, none will grow that fast, except Japan, as its economy rebounds from this year after an earthquake and tsunami ravaged the country.
BBC economics editor Stephanie Flanders points out that the shorter-term growth forecast has been cut for every country listed - with particularly large downward revisions for the US and Italy.
Acting together
The IMF stressed said strong leadership would crucial in staving off recession in the US and eurozone.
IMF chief economist Olivier Blanchard said that eurozone countries were lagging in the race to solve the sovereign debt crisis.
Greek public sector employees burn their tax notices on 20 September Greece must continue with unpopular spending cuts and tax rises, the IMF says
He said: "There is a wide perception that policymakers are one step behind the action. Europe must get its act together."
The perceived weakness in eurozone governments' response is one of the main factors behind the recent market turmoil.
"Leaders must stand by their commitments to do whatever it takes to preserve trust in national policies and the euro," the report said.
The IMF's statements come after credit rating agency Standard and Poor's downgraded Italy's debt rating amid mounting concerns about the country's finances.
And on Monday, the IMF warned Greece to implement agreed reforms or miss an 8bn-euro bailout instalment set for October, viewed as vital to keeping state finances afloat.
"Fragile" financial institutions needed to get private cash to survive over funds from the public purse, or be "restructured or closed", said the IMF.
In a speech on Tuesday, European Competition Commissioner Joaquin Almunia also warned more banks in the region may need extra cash.
He said: "The worsening of the sovereign debt crisis, its impact on a fragile banking system and the continuing tensions in funding markets all point to the possible needs for further recapitalistion of banks on top of the nine that failed the stress tests earlier this year."
US concerns
The IMF report also voices concerns about the US economic recovery and the chance it might "suffer further blows" including a weak housing market and worsening financial conditions.
It warns that either of the issues could drag both the US and the euro area into recession.
It suggests that the US needs to devise a plan to "put public debt on a sustainable path and implement policies to sustain the recovery".
The IMF has also voiced fears that the US is facing what it calls a "very sluggish recovery of employment".
"Although [US] unemployment is below post-World War II highs, job losses during the crisis were unprecedented and came on top of lacklustre employment performance during the preceding decade," the report said.
It added that news of the US housing market had been disappointing, with "no end in sight to the overhang of excess supply and declining prices".
The organisation warned that continuing political and economic woes in the US and eurozone could force them back into recession.
The IMF says the prognosis for economies in the developed world is "weak and bumpy expansion".
It predicts their GDP will expand "at an anaemic pace of 1.5% in 2011".
The IMF believes global growth will shrink to 4% in 2012, from 5% last year, on factors such as "major financial turbulence in the eurozone".
It slashed the its growth projections for the 17-nation eurozone to 1.6% in 2011, down from 2% predicted in June. Next year, growth will be 1.1%, down from 1.7%.
The US - the world's largest economy - is likely to have weak growth "for years to come".
UK worries
Continue reading the main story
“Start Quote
The Fund has moved one step closer to saying the downside scenario has arrived. But it has stopped short of saying it. This is entirely understandable at a time when confidence is at a premium”
image of Stephanie Flanders Stephanie Flanders Economics editor, BBC News
Read Stephanie's blog
Italy has debt rating cut by S&P
'No panacea' from emerging states
Eurozone in crisis graphics: Deficits
And the UK, the growth forecast for 2011 has also been revised downwards, from 1.5% to 1.1%, while the forecast for 2012 was cut to 1.6%, from 2.3%.
"It would be wise for both governments and businesses [in the UK] to develop contingency plans in case such a double dip scenario does emerge," said John Hawksworth, PwC's chief economist.
Among the major advanced economies, the IMF now thinks Germany will be the only country to grow by more than 2% in 2011.
In 2012, none will grow that fast, except Japan, as its economy rebounds from this year after an earthquake and tsunami ravaged the country.
BBC economics editor Stephanie Flanders points out that the shorter-term growth forecast has been cut for every country listed - with particularly large downward revisions for the US and Italy.
Acting together
The IMF stressed said strong leadership would crucial in staving off recession in the US and eurozone.
IMF chief economist Olivier Blanchard said that eurozone countries were lagging in the race to solve the sovereign debt crisis.
Greek public sector employees burn their tax notices on 20 September Greece must continue with unpopular spending cuts and tax rises, the IMF says
He said: "There is a wide perception that policymakers are one step behind the action. Europe must get its act together."
The perceived weakness in eurozone governments' response is one of the main factors behind the recent market turmoil.
"Leaders must stand by their commitments to do whatever it takes to preserve trust in national policies and the euro," the report said.
The IMF's statements come after credit rating agency Standard and Poor's downgraded Italy's debt rating amid mounting concerns about the country's finances.
And on Monday, the IMF warned Greece to implement agreed reforms or miss an 8bn-euro bailout instalment set for October, viewed as vital to keeping state finances afloat.
"Fragile" financial institutions needed to get private cash to survive over funds from the public purse, or be "restructured or closed", said the IMF.
In a speech on Tuesday, European Competition Commissioner Joaquin Almunia also warned more banks in the region may need extra cash.
He said: "The worsening of the sovereign debt crisis, its impact on a fragile banking system and the continuing tensions in funding markets all point to the possible needs for further recapitalistion of banks on top of the nine that failed the stress tests earlier this year."
US concerns
The IMF report also voices concerns about the US economic recovery and the chance it might "suffer further blows" including a weak housing market and worsening financial conditions.
It warns that either of the issues could drag both the US and the euro area into recession.
It suggests that the US needs to devise a plan to "put public debt on a sustainable path and implement policies to sustain the recovery".
The IMF has also voiced fears that the US is facing what it calls a "very sluggish recovery of employment".
"Although [US] unemployment is below post-World War II highs, job losses during the crisis were unprecedented and came on top of lacklustre employment performance during the preceding decade," the report said.
It added that news of the US housing market had been disappointing, with "no end in sight to the overhang of excess supply and declining prices".
MAKE YOUR KID SAFE
During family outings, establish a central, easy-to-locate spot to meet for check-ins or should you get separated.
MAKE YOUR KID SAFE
Teach your children how to locate help at theme parks, sports stadiums, shopping malls, and other public places. Also, identify those people who they can ask for help, such as uniformed law enforcement, security guards and store clerks with nametags.
MAKE YOUR KID SAFE
Help your children learn to recognize and avoid potential risks, so that they can deal with them if they happen.
MAKE YOUR KID SAFE
1 Teach your children that if anyone tries to grab them, they should make a scene and make every effort to get away by kicking, screaming, and resisting.
10. Start afresh each day
This refreshing of your love will keep it alive and bring you closer to each other. Through this your love will deepen and become an essential part of everyday you spend together.
So what is love… really?
It’s an overwhelming emotion you have about another person, an emotion that you can’t truly explain but you can’t get rid of. It makes you want to be with that person, hold them, touch them, have sex with them. It shows itself as an exchange of energy, a polarity, that excites your soul. Love makes you feel great and totally transforms life. Love is worship of the other person, the woman who is divine for you. Love is the power house behind our lives, it is the reason we live.
So what is love… really?
It’s an overwhelming emotion you have about another person, an emotion that you can’t truly explain but you can’t get rid of. It makes you want to be with that person, hold them, touch them, have sex with them. It shows itself as an exchange of energy, a polarity, that excites your soul. Love makes you feel great and totally transforms life. Love is worship of the other person, the woman who is divine for you. Love is the power house behind our lives, it is the reason we live.
9. Pay attention to her
Women need attention all the time. It is absolutely vital for all men, wanting to know how to love a woman, to understand this. Many of the annoying habits that women have are merely attempts to get the attention of a man who is not paying her any attention. Take heed of them and pay attention.
Men are focused and directed and can easily lose themselves in what they are doing. This is one of the qualities that many women love in their men, but not to the exclusion of them.
Men are focused and directed and can easily lose themselves in what they are doing. This is one of the qualities that many women love in their men, but not to the exclusion of them.
8. Give love, always
Love is about giving rather than receiving. Love is a creative force that grows out of the desire to give more than you receive.
Yes, it is crucial that you are able to receive the love that is offerred to you otherwise it quickly dies, but you have to focus on the contribution you make to her.
‘Give and you shall receive’, but give without expecting anything in return.
Yes, it is crucial that you are able to receive the love that is offerred to you otherwise it quickly dies, but you have to focus on the contribution you make to her.
‘Give and you shall receive’, but give without expecting anything in return.
7. Count your blessings
That means the blessings you have together, the things you have achieved together , all that you are as a couple.
This should be a regular part of your life together. While I said, above, don’t live in the past, it’s ok to recount the great things in the past. This must be tempered with looking at the amazing things you are going to do in the future.
As a rule of thumb it is advisable to expect a future way beyond one that you can imagine. Expectations can lead to frustration if they limit you, expecting them to go way beyond is a good step into the future.
This should be a regular part of your life together. While I said, above, don’t live in the past, it’s ok to recount the great things in the past. This must be tempered with looking at the amazing things you are going to do in the future.
As a rule of thumb it is advisable to expect a future way beyond one that you can imagine. Expectations can lead to frustration if they limit you, expecting them to go way beyond is a good step into the future.
6. Get to know her
How often do you hear men say, “My wife doesn’t understand me.” What they really mean is, “I don’t understand my wife.” This is basic in learning how to love a woman.
Love can only grow and deepen through understanding. You can never get to the point where you think you know everything about her, no woman is that simple. She is a complex person that even she doesn’t understand.
You need to love her and get to know her with patience and determination.
Love can only grow and deepen through understanding. You can never get to the point where you think you know everything about her, no woman is that simple. She is a complex person that even she doesn’t understand.
You need to love her and get to know her with patience and determination.
5. Don’t live in the past
Life does not always treat us well and we certainly don’t always treat life well. Things go wrong and we mess up all the time. Strife in our loving relationship is something to let go of once it’s over, it’s something to let slip into the past.
We must learn the lessons and move on ensuring that we don’t go there again. But we must never dwell on the past and use it to either beat ourselves up or to judge our partner.
Move on and live, always, in the present.
We must learn the lessons and move on ensuring that we don’t go there again. But we must never dwell on the past and use it to either beat ourselves up or to judge our partner.
Move on and live, always, in the present.
Live in your power
Whilst a man in love is an emotional being he must not stop being the man he is. Your love should come from the power inside yourself, from your very soul. The love must be part of your power as a man and it must be part of how you live.
You must remain just who you are, you must be the man she met and fell in love with.
She finds excitement in your masculine strength, particularly when it laced with love. Don’t ever let her down.
You must remain just who you are, you must be the man she met and fell in love with.
She finds excitement in your masculine strength, particularly when it laced with love. Don’t ever let her down.
Just love her for herself
Our women all have qualities we love in them, perhaps they’re smart, or sexy, or inspirational, or funny, or even rich. This is not why you love her, you love her just because of her, nothing else.
Your love is not conditional, it is not based on any special qualities. You love her.
Even though you celebrate everything that she is, even though you worship her for what she does in the world, she needs to know that you simply love her, no matter what. This is so crucial.
Your love is not conditional, it is not based on any special qualities. You love her.
Even though you celebrate everything that she is, even though you worship her for what she does in the world, she needs to know that you simply love her, no matter what. This is so crucial.
Tell her you love her
This is lesson two of Love 101 for men, lesson two of how to love a woman. Tell her you love her!
This means saying the words so she completely understands and is in no doubt about it. You love her. She needs you to say this all the time and she needs you to volunteer it, not say it in reply to her questioning.
The worst thing a man can say is, “You know I do.” She doesn’t, that’s why she’s asking… Duh…
This means saying the words so she completely understands and is in no doubt about it. You love her. She needs you to say this all the time and she needs you to volunteer it, not say it in reply to her questioning.
The worst thing a man can say is, “You know I do.” She doesn’t, that’s why she’s asking… Duh…
Here are 10 ways to access this love and create an amazing relationship, how to love a woman:
Start by loving yourself
This is not being selfish. If you are unable to love yourself you are unable to love someone else.
This is something men, particularly, have trouble with. They might respect themselves, think they’re absolutely amazing, but loving themselves, that’s a bit sissy.
No it’s not, it’s the basis of life and the basis of a balanced personality. Anyone has had a troubled relationship should look, first of all, to themselves, this is often where the trouble lies.
This is not being selfish. If you are unable to love yourself you are unable to love someone else.
This is something men, particularly, have trouble with. They might respect themselves, think they’re absolutely amazing, but loving themselves, that’s a bit sissy.
No it’s not, it’s the basis of life and the basis of a balanced personality. Anyone has had a troubled relationship should look, first of all, to themselves, this is often where the trouble lies.
Monday, September 19, 2011
What to do in bed when you can't sleep
I say just go on twitter and tweet away till your eyes burn and remember to vote for #pr9anya
Ways to Say I Love You
Love the Ones They Love
Reach out and be there for their children, or parents, or siblings. If they’re an important part of your life then you’re going to what to know and appreciate the people who hold that title in their world – furry friends included.
Reach out and be there for their children, or parents, or siblings. If they’re an important part of your life then you’re going to what to know and appreciate the people who hold that title in their world – furry friends included.
Ways to Say I Love You
Speak With Love
You could call him a “jerk”, an “idiot”, or a pain in the you-know-what, or you could just tell him you “need a little time to cool down.” There is so much power in what we say to each other and it’s important to always speak with love.
You could call him a “jerk”, an “idiot”, or a pain in the you-know-what, or you could just tell him you “need a little time to cool down.” There is so much power in what we say to each other and it’s important to always speak with love.
Ways to Say I Love You
Break it Down
Don’t just say you love them; tell them why. Is it their smile? Their big heart? The way they laugh. Give compliments were compliments are due.
Don’t just say you love them; tell them why. Is it their smile? Their big heart? The way they laugh. Give compliments were compliments are due.
Simple Beauty Solutions
Reader Beauty FAQs: Makeup Edition
"My lip gloss always wears off quickly. How can I make it last?"
"It's all about the formula," says L.A. makeup artist Fiona Stiles. "The too slick blends tend to fade faster, so for staying power, look for the products that feel a bit sticky." (We like the Revlon Color Stay Gloss in Endless Lilac, ) You can also help your color last by prepping lips. Exfoliate with a soft toothbrush or washcloth to ensure that color goes on smoothly, then moisturize with a shea butter balm (the waxiness will allow the color to adhere better). Next, create a base color with a lip liner or stain like the Josie Maran Magic Marker Lip & Cheek Stain . Finish with gloss. Tarte's Natural lip stain and gloss in Cherry ($21; beauty.com) offers both a shiny top coat and a stain. "Even if the sheen wears off, you'll still have color from your base coat," says Stiles.
"My lip gloss always wears off quickly. How can I make it last?"
"It's all about the formula," says L.A. makeup artist Fiona Stiles. "The too slick blends tend to fade faster, so for staying power, look for the products that feel a bit sticky." (We like the Revlon Color Stay Gloss in Endless Lilac, ) You can also help your color last by prepping lips. Exfoliate with a soft toothbrush or washcloth to ensure that color goes on smoothly, then moisturize with a shea butter balm (the waxiness will allow the color to adhere better). Next, create a base color with a lip liner or stain like the Josie Maran Magic Marker Lip & Cheek Stain . Finish with gloss. Tarte's Natural lip stain and gloss in Cherry ($21; beauty.com) offers both a shiny top coat and a stain. "Even if the sheen wears off, you'll still have color from your base coat," says Stiles.
Simple Beauty Solutions
Reader Beauty FAQs: Makeup Edition
"My eyeliner always smears. How can I make it stay put?"
Be sure to buy a waterproof formula like the Revlon ColorStay Liner ($7; target.com); it's more resistant to smearing. "Eyeliner usually runs when it encounters oils on the skin," says Revlon global artistic director Gucci Westman, who works with Cameron Diaz. Prior to applying, dab an eye-shadow brush into pressed powder (We like Revlon's Photoready Powder, and gently drag along the lash line to prep the area and prevent smudging. "This helps soak up oils and lock the eyeliner in place," says Westman. And remember: Always apply powder before putting on mascara, or your lashes may end up getting cakey.
"My eyeliner always smears. How can I make it stay put?"
Be sure to buy a waterproof formula like the Revlon ColorStay Liner ($7; target.com); it's more resistant to smearing. "Eyeliner usually runs when it encounters oils on the skin," says Revlon global artistic director Gucci Westman, who works with Cameron Diaz. Prior to applying, dab an eye-shadow brush into pressed powder (We like Revlon's Photoready Powder, and gently drag along the lash line to prep the area and prevent smudging. "This helps soak up oils and lock the eyeliner in place," says Westman. And remember: Always apply powder before putting on mascara, or your lashes may end up getting cakey.
Simple Beauty Solutions
Reader Beauty FAQs: Makeup Edition
"What's the best nude lipstick?"—Amber W., via Facebook
"If you have fair skin, go for a peach or pink nude like Benefit's Silky Finish Lipstick in Skinny Dip " says makeup artist Joette Balsamo. "Those with medium skin should look for a pink or mauve-toned nude. The YSL Rouge Volupte in Nude Beige ($34; yslbeautyus.com) is good, and people with dark skin look best in caramel tones like the NARS Honolulu Honey lipstick. I always do a similar chic caramel on Jennifer Hudson."
"What's the best nude lipstick?"—Amber W., via Facebook
"If you have fair skin, go for a peach or pink nude like Benefit's Silky Finish Lipstick in Skinny Dip " says makeup artist Joette Balsamo. "Those with medium skin should look for a pink or mauve-toned nude. The YSL Rouge Volupte in Nude Beige ($34; yslbeautyus.com) is good, and people with dark skin look best in caramel tones like the NARS Honolulu Honey lipstick. I always do a similar chic caramel on Jennifer Hudson."
Simple Beauty Solutions
Reader Beauty FAQs: Makeup Edition
"I would like to wear an anti-aging serum and a makeup primer. Can I do both and in what order?"—Allison M., NY
Skincare products go beneath your primer, advises makeup artist Joette Balsamo who works with Gretchen Mol, but save the very active anti-aging serums for nighttime. “The rule of thumb is: protect and hydrate with moisturizer and SPF during the day, then treat and repair at night with anti-aging and blemish serums.” Here is why: Serums contain ingredients that help with cell turnover which is what you want, but wearing them under your makeup can cause your foundation to "pill" and wear off quickly. During the daylight hours, opt for a moisturizer with SPF that's right for your skin type and apply a primer over that. We like the Trish McEvoy Even Skin Face Primer for daytime wear, and the MyBody myHERO Anti-Aging Serum for bedtime.
"I would like to wear an anti-aging serum and a makeup primer. Can I do both and in what order?"—Allison M., NY
Skincare products go beneath your primer, advises makeup artist Joette Balsamo who works with Gretchen Mol, but save the very active anti-aging serums for nighttime. “The rule of thumb is: protect and hydrate with moisturizer and SPF during the day, then treat and repair at night with anti-aging and blemish serums.” Here is why: Serums contain ingredients that help with cell turnover which is what you want, but wearing them under your makeup can cause your foundation to "pill" and wear off quickly. During the daylight hours, opt for a moisturizer with SPF that's right for your skin type and apply a primer over that. We like the Trish McEvoy Even Skin Face Primer for daytime wear, and the MyBody myHERO Anti-Aging Serum for bedtime.
Simple Beauty Solutions Twitter
Reader Beauty FAQs: Makeup Edition
"What is the best eye makeup to wear with bright lipstick?"—Melissa F., via Facebook
Makeup artist, Kate Lee who created this look for Sienna Miller has a favorite pairing for a bold, statement lip: going completely nude on the eye, but grooming and defining the brows and lashes. She uses Anastasia Tinted Brow Gels to keep every brow in place. "I also love a strong lip with a neutral metallic liner," says Lee. "Apply a thin line next to the lashes and smudge gently. It really catches the light and sparkles when you blink."
"What is the best eye makeup to wear with bright lipstick?"—Melissa F., via Facebook
Makeup artist, Kate Lee who created this look for Sienna Miller has a favorite pairing for a bold, statement lip: going completely nude on the eye, but grooming and defining the brows and lashes. She uses Anastasia Tinted Brow Gels to keep every brow in place. "I also love a strong lip with a neutral metallic liner," says Lee. "Apply a thin line next to the lashes and smudge gently. It really catches the light and sparkles when you blink."
Simple Beauty Solutions
"I'd like to try a smoky eye look, but I have sensitive eyes. What can I use?"—Lisa C., via Facebook
First, avoid using any product on the inside of the lash line, as well as shadows with lots of dust or glitter that will fall into the eyes during application—opt instead for a pressed powder or long wear crème shadows. Tammy Blanchard’s makeup artist, Joette Balsamo recommends Physician’s Formula Shimmer Strips Custom Eye Enhancing Gel Cream Liner which is hypoallergenic, fragrance free and safe for sensitive eyes. She says, “If your eyes do get slightly irritated while doing your makeup, blink gently and look in different directions so that the particle moves towards the tear duct and out of your eye. A little bit of saline solution can help. But too much can cause more makeup to fall into the eye.”
First, avoid using any product on the inside of the lash line, as well as shadows with lots of dust or glitter that will fall into the eyes during application—opt instead for a pressed powder or long wear crème shadows. Tammy Blanchard’s makeup artist, Joette Balsamo recommends Physician’s Formula Shimmer Strips Custom Eye Enhancing Gel Cream Liner which is hypoallergenic, fragrance free and safe for sensitive eyes. She says, “If your eyes do get slightly irritated while doing your makeup, blink gently and look in different directions so that the particle moves towards the tear duct and out of your eye. A little bit of saline solution can help. But too much can cause more makeup to fall into the eye.”
GQ&A: David Guetta
"I never go to sleep before 6am. Even If I want to, I can't," says David Guetta, slumped in London's St Pancras hotel after a day of promotion that began at 7am. Dressed in an elegant mixture of Dior Homme and Rick Owens, Guetta is a strange combination - part suave party DJ ("I'm French, but I have to admit, Ibiza is really the place for house music") and part geeky music technician ("The books that I read are manuals for plug-ins and software"). However, having combined the roles of DJ, super-producer and solo artist like no other, Guetta's understanding of the mechanics of successful modern pop is unparalleled. Whether working with Rihanna, Nicki Minaj or the Black Eyed Peas, his sound is instantly recognisable and utterly inescapable. Here's what happened when GQ.com met Paris' most lucrative musical export...
GQ.com: What's your top style tip for autumn?
David Guetta: Definitely Louboutin shoes - I've been wearing them for a year now. It's very new for me to have a shoe obsession. Before, I had a collection of sneakers, but even though I loved them, there wasn't a brand that would make me go "I want to buy all the pairs" - like girls do.
What's the secret to impressing French women?
Probably not to try too hard. The French are a little more laid back. But there are lots of different kinds of women so you can't give one rule.
Is the French electro scene as close knit as it appears?
Yes, we're all good friends. I used to run a club night in Le Fumoir where we would have only the coolest young acts. So there was Daft Punk playing, Cassius, DJ Gregory and Dimitri from Paris- sometimes everybody on the same night. It's crazy when you think about it because they became so huge afterwards.
Did you spend much time with Nicki Minaj working on your collaborations?
We've been in the studio together but then she also did a lot on her side, because she's quite shy actually. Strange, huh? I love "Where Them Girls At" but I was really proud of "Turn Me On" because no one imagined she could sing like this. It was a big challenge and she pulled it off big time. Was she wearing something spectacular in the studio? Yes, she's always like this. She's not acting.
What's the best cure for a hangover?
I don't really drink to be honest. I know it's quite shocking to British people. French people also drink - not as much as British people - but we do drink.
If the party's flagging, what's your go-to record?
I have a few classics like "Smack My Bitch Up", that's one that I really love. It works every time.
What kind of music did you play when you were starting out as a DJ?
It was a mix of funk and new wave. It's funny because it's what I do today, a mix of dark electronic sad sounds with happy groovy songs. I'm actually producing the music today that I was doing when I was 17.
Given the amount of travel you do, what are your travel essentials?
I travel light. But I love being on planes. I make a lot of music on planes because it's really quiet - there's no phone, there's no internet, there's no meetings - it's very inspiring for me. There's a record on the electronic album called "Glasgow": it's called that because I made it on the plane to Scotland. The first time I played it, I got totally over-excited because the people were really into it, so I took the mic and went "I will call this Glasgow!" I kept my word.
What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
I don't really listen to advice. I'm bad. I shouldn't say that, but it's true. Only my wife can give me advice. I listen to her religiously.
What do you make of the trend of celebrity DJs?
I'm not really concerned with it to be honest. It's a different scene, because they work in celebrity clubs so it's not the kind of club where I play. So good for them, they're having fun. We're not doing the same thing, because of course anyone can be a selector and it's totally fine, but to be a DJ is a different thing, I think.
What was the worst thing a critic has ever said about you?
The list would be long! The worst thing that was said on the internet was that I was dead. I was dead twice in the same summer. So for me it didn't really matter, but for my friends, family, it was really strange.
GQ.com: What's your top style tip for autumn?
David Guetta: Definitely Louboutin shoes - I've been wearing them for a year now. It's very new for me to have a shoe obsession. Before, I had a collection of sneakers, but even though I loved them, there wasn't a brand that would make me go "I want to buy all the pairs" - like girls do.
What's the secret to impressing French women?
Probably not to try too hard. The French are a little more laid back. But there are lots of different kinds of women so you can't give one rule.
Is the French electro scene as close knit as it appears?
Yes, we're all good friends. I used to run a club night in Le Fumoir where we would have only the coolest young acts. So there was Daft Punk playing, Cassius, DJ Gregory and Dimitri from Paris- sometimes everybody on the same night. It's crazy when you think about it because they became so huge afterwards.
Did you spend much time with Nicki Minaj working on your collaborations?
We've been in the studio together but then she also did a lot on her side, because she's quite shy actually. Strange, huh? I love "Where Them Girls At" but I was really proud of "Turn Me On" because no one imagined she could sing like this. It was a big challenge and she pulled it off big time. Was she wearing something spectacular in the studio? Yes, she's always like this. She's not acting.
What's the best cure for a hangover?
I don't really drink to be honest. I know it's quite shocking to British people. French people also drink - not as much as British people - but we do drink.
If the party's flagging, what's your go-to record?
I have a few classics like "Smack My Bitch Up", that's one that I really love. It works every time.
What kind of music did you play when you were starting out as a DJ?
It was a mix of funk and new wave. It's funny because it's what I do today, a mix of dark electronic sad sounds with happy groovy songs. I'm actually producing the music today that I was doing when I was 17.
Given the amount of travel you do, what are your travel essentials?
I travel light. But I love being on planes. I make a lot of music on planes because it's really quiet - there's no phone, there's no internet, there's no meetings - it's very inspiring for me. There's a record on the electronic album called "Glasgow": it's called that because I made it on the plane to Scotland. The first time I played it, I got totally over-excited because the people were really into it, so I took the mic and went "I will call this Glasgow!" I kept my word.
What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
I don't really listen to advice. I'm bad. I shouldn't say that, but it's true. Only my wife can give me advice. I listen to her religiously.
What do you make of the trend of celebrity DJs?
I'm not really concerned with it to be honest. It's a different scene, because they work in celebrity clubs so it's not the kind of club where I play. So good for them, they're having fun. We're not doing the same thing, because of course anyone can be a selector and it's totally fine, but to be a DJ is a different thing, I think.
What was the worst thing a critic has ever said about you?
The list would be long! The worst thing that was said on the internet was that I was dead. I was dead twice in the same summer. So for me it didn't really matter, but for my friends, family, it was really strange.
Gay Marriage
Black ministers, like Black churches, are not monolithic. While most denounce homosexuality as a sin, a growing number of us do not. We believe that homosexuality, as a sexual orientation, is not a sin, but hypocrisy is. That is why Jesus says nothing about the former, but speaks volumes about the latter. Biblical scholarship helps us understand that the few biblical passages once thought to express clear condemnation of homosexuality have been taken out of context and grossly misinterpreted. Whereas these popular passages condemned same-sex behavior that was violent, abusive, or once believed to result in ritual impurity, the scriptures do not explicitly address a monogamous sexual relationship between two loving and committed same-sex individuals.
Black churches have been so poisoned by homophobia and heterosexism that some may think it blasphemous that an African-American heterosexual male Christian pastor would support same-sex marriage. I do so not because I believe it is safe, politically correct, or popular, but because I believe it is right. It is theologically right because we are all created equal in the image of God. It is historically right because those of us who have been the victims of oppression ought to be the last ones to oppress anyone else. It is morally right because all of God’s children should be able to live the truth rather than be forced to perpetrate a lie. And it is legally right because same-sex couples are entitled to the same rights, responsibilities and protections under the law as heterosexual couples.
Why, then, have many Black ministers and churches become so hostile toward homosexuals and so vitriolic in their condemnation of same-sex unions? The reasons are varied, complex and associated with the historical intersection of racism and sexuality in America. Suffice it to say here that it is not the Bible per se, but socially conditioned and culturally infused interpretations of the Bible that account for much of the pervasive anti-gay sentiment within Black churches and among Black people.
Since my predominantly Black congregation welcomes and affirms all people, regardless of sexual orientation, I believe I offer a unique perspective on the implications of same-sex unions based not on theory but practice, and not on speculation but firsthand experience. First, I can attest that this is not a “White” issue—it is a human issue. Countless same-sex couples have expressed a deep appreciation for our policy of acceptance, and some have even testified that our inclusive ministry has literally saved their lives.
Black churches have been so poisoned by homophobia and heterosexism that some may think it blasphemous that an African-American heterosexual male Christian pastor would support same-sex marriage. I do so not because I believe it is safe, politically correct, or popular, but because I believe it is right. It is theologically right because we are all created equal in the image of God. It is historically right because those of us who have been the victims of oppression ought to be the last ones to oppress anyone else. It is morally right because all of God’s children should be able to live the truth rather than be forced to perpetrate a lie. And it is legally right because same-sex couples are entitled to the same rights, responsibilities and protections under the law as heterosexual couples.
Why, then, have many Black ministers and churches become so hostile toward homosexuals and so vitriolic in their condemnation of same-sex unions? The reasons are varied, complex and associated with the historical intersection of racism and sexuality in America. Suffice it to say here that it is not the Bible per se, but socially conditioned and culturally infused interpretations of the Bible that account for much of the pervasive anti-gay sentiment within Black churches and among Black people.
Since my predominantly Black congregation welcomes and affirms all people, regardless of sexual orientation, I believe I offer a unique perspective on the implications of same-sex unions based not on theory but practice, and not on speculation but firsthand experience. First, I can attest that this is not a “White” issue—it is a human issue. Countless same-sex couples have expressed a deep appreciation for our policy of acceptance, and some have even testified that our inclusive ministry has literally saved their lives.
NEW
New Video: Bei Maejor Feat. J.Cole 'Trouble'
VIBE.COM By: Vibe Posted 9-19-2011 9:26 am
Tags:
bei major
Grammy nominated singer/songwriter Bei Maejor is stepping out into the spotlight with his first major single, "Trouble" (feat. J. Cole). Bei is currently working on his solo debut on Jive Records.
VIBE.COM By: Vibe Posted 9-19-2011 9:26 am
Tags:
bei major
Grammy nominated singer/songwriter Bei Maejor is stepping out into the spotlight with his first major single, "Trouble" (feat. J. Cole). Bei is currently working on his solo debut on Jive Records.
Mark Walhberg Confirms 'Entourage' Movie
It's not a wrap yet for the Entourage crew! Mark Wahlberg has confirmed that the chances of an Entourage movie are looking pretty good, according to PEOPLE.
"It better happen," Wahlberg told the magazine. "We're working on [a movie] as we speak."
By ending the storyline on an upbeat note – Vinnie (Adrien Grenier) got married, Eric (Kevin Connolly) got back his bride-to-be, Drama (Kevin Dillon) got his series, Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) got his fortune, and Ari (Jeremy Piven) got his marriage back on track and a job offer to run a studio – Wahlberg says everything is "teed up for a movie."
No surprise there! Are you excited for the boys' return?
"It better happen," Wahlberg told the magazine. "We're working on [a movie] as we speak."
By ending the storyline on an upbeat note – Vinnie (Adrien Grenier) got married, Eric (Kevin Connolly) got back his bride-to-be, Drama (Kevin Dillon) got his series, Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) got his fortune, and Ari (Jeremy Piven) got his marriage back on track and a job offer to run a studio – Wahlberg says everything is "teed up for a movie."
No surprise there! Are you excited for the boys' return?
9 Types of Sex Every Woman Should Have
There are a million different ways to twist the sheets – just check the kama sutra – but no one can try them all. There are, however, a few types of sex every woman should experience – at least once. Ladies, listen up, because if you haven’t done the deed these nine ways, you’re totally missing out. I’m Sorry Sex
Otherwise known as make up sex. It’s what happens when that thin line between anger and passion is crossed and the result is most often spontaneous and mind blowing
Vacation Sex
It’s not for everyone, but we’re here to tell you, sex in paradise with a gorgeous man you just met can often be the most thrilling kind. (As long as it’s safe sex, of course.) He’s mysterious and gorgeous and he makes you feel sexy – a recipe for vacation bliss.
We Might Get Caught Sex
You know that moment when the sparks are flying between you but you just can’t sneak away. Toss those inhibitions and do it anyway. Go find your own little corner of heaven and steal a moment all your own. Sure, you might get caught, but that’s really the fun of it, after all.
You’re Gonna Miss Me Sex
Sometimes the sex can be good even when the relationship is not. If you’re parting ways with an ex for good, makes your last time the very best time. Give him all you’ve got as a friendly reminder of what he’ll soon be missing. (Wink!)
Beach Sex
There’s something about the sound of the ocean waves rolling back and forth against the sand that really set the mood – and the pace – when it comes to outdoor love making; and there’s nothing like the feeling of a cool summer breeze against your hot and sweaty skin. The moment is a must, ladies. Just don’t forge the blanket.
Shower Sex
Cranking up the hot water knob isn’t the only way to steam up your bathroom mirrors. If you haven’t had a round of who-cares about my hair, I want you so bad, lets stay until the water gets cold shower sex yet, you’re seriously missing out.
Role-Play Sex
Grab your leading man and act out your wildest sexual fantasy. Don’t skimp on this production. Script it out, buy costumes, bring props – whatever it takes to make your debut role truly authentic. Lights, camera, action!
Airplane Sex
It’s never too late to gain membership into the infamous “mile high club”. The next time you and your boo are jet setting across the skies try your hand at making your own turbulence. Just be sure to fly below the flight attendant’s radar.
The Quickie
The next time you want to sneak off for a little bad behavior when it’s really not a good time, make some. So you only have five minutes? That’s enough time to squeeze in some fun. Go for it!
Otherwise known as make up sex. It’s what happens when that thin line between anger and passion is crossed and the result is most often spontaneous and mind blowing
Vacation Sex
It’s not for everyone, but we’re here to tell you, sex in paradise with a gorgeous man you just met can often be the most thrilling kind. (As long as it’s safe sex, of course.) He’s mysterious and gorgeous and he makes you feel sexy – a recipe for vacation bliss.
We Might Get Caught Sex
You know that moment when the sparks are flying between you but you just can’t sneak away. Toss those inhibitions and do it anyway. Go find your own little corner of heaven and steal a moment all your own. Sure, you might get caught, but that’s really the fun of it, after all.
You’re Gonna Miss Me Sex
Sometimes the sex can be good even when the relationship is not. If you’re parting ways with an ex for good, makes your last time the very best time. Give him all you’ve got as a friendly reminder of what he’ll soon be missing. (Wink!)
Beach Sex
There’s something about the sound of the ocean waves rolling back and forth against the sand that really set the mood – and the pace – when it comes to outdoor love making; and there’s nothing like the feeling of a cool summer breeze against your hot and sweaty skin. The moment is a must, ladies. Just don’t forge the blanket.
Shower Sex
Cranking up the hot water knob isn’t the only way to steam up your bathroom mirrors. If you haven’t had a round of who-cares about my hair, I want you so bad, lets stay until the water gets cold shower sex yet, you’re seriously missing out.
Role-Play Sex
Grab your leading man and act out your wildest sexual fantasy. Don’t skimp on this production. Script it out, buy costumes, bring props – whatever it takes to make your debut role truly authentic. Lights, camera, action!
Airplane Sex
It’s never too late to gain membership into the infamous “mile high club”. The next time you and your boo are jet setting across the skies try your hand at making your own turbulence. Just be sure to fly below the flight attendant’s radar.
The Quickie
The next time you want to sneak off for a little bad behavior when it’s really not a good time, make some. So you only have five minutes? That’s enough time to squeeze in some fun. Go for it!
20 Perfect Places for a Quickie
Quickies are a must for any couple looking to keep the love and passion alive. If you’re not making time for some fast loving, you should be.
“As adults we often get so consumed with our daily routine that we sometimes forget to have a little fun especially when it comes to sex,” says Kate Stevens, author or new book “The Joy of the Quickie: More than 150 Ways to Do It Now”. “You have to remember though that just because you’re getting older, doesn’t mean that you can’t get it on right now!
We couldn’t agree more. Quickies are meant to be fun, and upping the fun factor in your relationship never hurt anyone.
“Every relationship needs a quickie,” says Stevens. “Not only do quickies offer just what you want when you want it, but they also bring you back to a time when you didn’t have any other worries besides school and getting caught doing something by the cops or your parents.”
Read more: http://www.essence.com/2011/09/16/20-perfect-places-for-a-quickie/#ixzz1YS58JELf
“As adults we often get so consumed with our daily routine that we sometimes forget to have a little fun especially when it comes to sex,” says Kate Stevens, author or new book “The Joy of the Quickie: More than 150 Ways to Do It Now”. “You have to remember though that just because you’re getting older, doesn’t mean that you can’t get it on right now!
We couldn’t agree more. Quickies are meant to be fun, and upping the fun factor in your relationship never hurt anyone.
“Every relationship needs a quickie,” says Stevens. “Not only do quickies offer just what you want when you want it, but they also bring you back to a time when you didn’t have any other worries besides school and getting caught doing something by the cops or your parents.”
Read more: http://www.essence.com/2011/09/16/20-perfect-places-for-a-quickie/#ixzz1YS58JELf
7 Ways to Get the Spark Back
“Love is like a campfire: It may be sparked quickly, and at first the kindling throws out a lot of heat, but it burns out quickly. For long lasting, steady warmth (with delightful bursts of intense heat from time to time), you must carefully tend the fire.” ~ Molleen Matsumura
No matter how perfectly matched you are with your partner, there will be a time when the romance wanes. I recall always hearing stories about the “5 year itch” – a term used to describe when married couples reach an inflection point. Each time I heard about this “itch” I completely dismissed it as a real possibility for my wife and me. After all, we were the “perfect couple” (aligned values, rarely fought, passionate). Then, in what felt like an outer body experience, there my wife and I were in year 5 of our marriage going through what felt like hurricane Katrina.
I’m happy to tell you we survived (we recently celebrated 10 years of marriage) and in many ways are stronger and better connected than ever. The lessons I learned can be applied to any couple (married or not) seeking to regain that spark. The following 7 steps will help you to regain the romance in your relationship.
Read more: http://www.essence.com/2011/08/08/7-ways-to-get-the-spark-back-in-your-relationship/#ixzz1YS4uFHde
No matter how perfectly matched you are with your partner, there will be a time when the romance wanes. I recall always hearing stories about the “5 year itch” – a term used to describe when married couples reach an inflection point. Each time I heard about this “itch” I completely dismissed it as a real possibility for my wife and me. After all, we were the “perfect couple” (aligned values, rarely fought, passionate). Then, in what felt like an outer body experience, there my wife and I were in year 5 of our marriage going through what felt like hurricane Katrina.
I’m happy to tell you we survived (we recently celebrated 10 years of marriage) and in many ways are stronger and better connected than ever. The lessons I learned can be applied to any couple (married or not) seeking to regain that spark. The following 7 steps will help you to regain the romance in your relationship.
Read more: http://www.essence.com/2011/08/08/7-ways-to-get-the-spark-back-in-your-relationship/#ixzz1YS4uFHde
WHICH ONE YOU WILL PICK
Hey , im 17 years old and my parents been together for 22 years ( junior high school sweet hearts ) and married for 9 . I love both of my parents alot , but recently my farther have been cheating on my mother . I know this because when ever im with my farther alone ( mall , car , ect. ) hes on his phone with another women flirting and having small talk . Why he even feel comfortable enough to do this in front of me ? I dont know . The conversations with the other women are often sexual and I find it disgusting , however I still love my farther and have not said anything to my mom , but I feel like im betraying my mother . My mother do not have a clue on whats going on when shes not around . My parents rearly argues , and I hear them having sex almost every night . My mother is 34 and is a very attractive 5,6 rich caramel skin , long brown hair , beautiful curvy body , shes a hard working mother . She do not deserve this . They have been together since my mom was 12 , she has been with NO other man .What do I do ? Do I tell my mother ? Do I let her find out on her own ? I dont want to be the cause of a divorce *
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