19 years old with 14 kids

Morning crew i am the 19 year old male who has 14 kids and my Mom wrote you guys a few weeks back and i would like to explain how this all took place, growing up i did not have a father and mom always told me and still tells me about how mean arent nothing so growing up around that i always felt like i wasnt nothing but crap to women so i treated them like they werent nothing. but heres the thing my mom is the blame for 90 % of this all the things that are important she left out. such as how she buys my condoms and puts holes in them thats how 10 of the kids where made my mom goes in my room finds my condoms and puts holes in them on purpose. Morning crew i love my kids and i know im only 19 but i think i am doing good i dont get too see 5 of my kids and thats because they live out of state but i do try and call and check on them and for the record all girls know about the other girls and there kids . i work at a plant called and i make 1,000 dollars or so a week i am not on child support simply because i do try and help the best way i can i do manage to talk and stop by the girls homes to visit when im off i mean of course i cant go to 14 girls houses but i think effort is everything , i did graduate and i am currently taking online classes for collage , morning crew showing favortism is the lst thing on my mind i needs some advice on how to not be abscent from my kids life as they get older and how to not to stray to the streets to get money to make sure they are okay please help i really dont want to stray to the streets but looks like thats my next option